This is pretty much it.

Sooo... I think I'm unwell.

You know how when bad things happen, You're supposed to let it go and move on? Yeah, I'm wayyy too into the whole letting go stage. It's like every day, I let go of a little bit. But there's still so much. And I'm not really sure what to do. Maybe it's self pity keeping this party rolling. I wouldn't be surprised. Being depressed makes you wallow for long periods of time. That's kinda how it is.
But honestly, I don't think what I'm doing is healthy. I mean, There has to reach a point where I stop being sad, and start again. But so far.. There just isn't.

I'm not sure what to do.

Drug Tests are Awkward.

I mean really? How many fucking steps are there to pee in a cup? Wash your hands, initial here, empty pockets, sign here, Here's a key, go pee in this.
And then when you get into the bathroom there's ANOTHER set of rules. I was so frickin' nervous. I was afraid I was going to mess up, and then have to start over again.
Damn good thing I'm a clean mofo. Sheesh.

That nurse did give me funny looks about my cigarettes though. Then again, She's a nurse. She kinda has to. Isn't that the job description? Pass on guilt about mistakes in life?

Sorry. That was mean to any nurses reading this. Iz ashamed.

What is the definition of stalking? Can anyone make me aware of this?

I've been neglecting you, Blog. More then likely because no one reads you except for me.
I've been thinking about alot of things lately. Been thinking about this job I just got, and I realize that I am a complete poser.
I got a job. And now All i can think about is clothes. And dying my hair again. And all the things I want to have. And it makes me feel like shit. I mean come on. Material items shouldn't really be this high up on priorities. But somehow, They are.

For you, Random Reader, I will share my new favorite song. It's by Tiesto ft. Tegan and Sara. It's called Feel it in My Bones.
I think I'm addicted to music. Honestly, I don't think I could live without it. If I had to choose a sense to lose, I would choose my eyes before my hearing.

I've been writing on HP more. And I've been writing on a short story of mine. Not sure how good it is, But oh well.

Part of me doesn't know what to write about on here. I always have this fear that someone will read this, and I will have said something wrong. And then it causing problems.
But really, Why have a blog if I can't ramble about whatever I want?

I have reached a conclusion!

Well... A few conclusions.

ONE! Watching the television show Supernatural at 10AM makes said show a soap opera.
TWO! I am allergic to ferrets :'( and it makes me very very sad. I love the boys, But they make me sneeze. What to do.
THREE! I have a friend that I can say in all honesty is Sir Buzzkillington. And it saddens me.
FOUR! I am getting old. I used to be able to stay up all the time, Not caring about anything. Now, I need sleep or else my back hurts. wtf, mate. When did that happen.
FIVE! My boyfriend is more stubborn then a three year old child when He is sick. This also saddens me. It also makes me feel like a pervert. OMIGOSH GET TO SIX.
SIX! I really am a pervert. I think. I found this singer named Declan Galbraith on Youtube. And though He was born one year after me, I'm going to hell. The video I found was when he remade Nights in White satin By the Moody Blues. It made me feel dirty. Then again, That is a very dirty song. >> anywhos.
SEVEN! I love Alton Brown. I don't know why He is so melodic to me.


aaaand That's about it. I'm just randomly posting. I thought it would be fun... Since I ignored you >>

Is anyone reading this?

The Next Day..

Well... I didn't forget about you blog. I know you're still here, and waiting for wisdom and stuff.

Still got nothin'.

I just got home from frisbee golf. And I am regretting letting my hair grow out. It's like... 70 degrees outside, and I feel like dying. I had fun though. I went with my boyfriend, and some friends.

Speaking of boyfriend, What shall we call him on this blog? Since you know me only as blatva, I figure I have to make a cool name for everyone else as well. Let's say my boyfriend's name is.... Henry Tilney. (Get it? I know, Lame.)

So, Mr. Tilney and I had a pretty good day :) And we plan on having a fun night as well. Full of board games, and good company.

I shall write more later.

There is much to do.

Once Upon A Time...

A blog, Huh? Why not. Blogs are hip. Everyone has one. But what I never really understood is... What are they for? Are they simply online diaries? If so, Then... Why are they so public?
Is this a memoir? Do people read through these looking for comfort, and wisdom?

If so, I think "they" should kindly leave this blog. Like, Immediately.

It's 4AM, and I have Caramelldansen on repeat. I am also listening to my boyfriend snore from the couch. The warm, comfortable, little bed we made to spend a romantic evening. And where am I?

I'm sitting at the table wishing I could do the Caramelldansen dance.

This speaks leagues of my wisdom. Feeling comfortable yet?

Well, Random Reader (who ever the fuck you are (and I mean that in the nicest, 4AM state of mind concievable)), I don't know what exactly this blog will.. do. Or prove. I'm not even sure why I'm writing right now. All I know is there's a comfy couch waiting for me, and I will figure out all of this deep shit tomorrow.

Or at least I hope to figure it out.

Time to smoke, and then cuddle.


-B